from bella's note

Here’s to all the girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night long for him to call, only to check the recent calls in the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who sacrifice the happiness of their own, dry the tears by herself, only to have him walk back in a few months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him to say, “I only want to be your friend” then one day, the ones who's still allowed him to stay and still listened to him to say "how much he loves and misses you".

Here’s to the ones who want him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe everybody can change. We listened to our friends who tell us that we were stupid even wondering to give him another chance, even we have been snuck around just to go out with him, We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. then we made a decision that we would be just friends, and ended falling in love with him (again). We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear his voice to tell us that he loved us too, even though the things were badly in the passed, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We desperately wanted to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fall asleep earlier. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to settle for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.

Here’s for the ones who did their hair and makeup and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lifes. one day and wonder “what if”. This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hopes he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “things were going too fast, he needs time”. Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so”. The ones that could just tell that they had made a mistake by ever allowing him into their hearts and their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here’s for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here’s for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here are for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong and remember that relationship are like broken glass, sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried and how long it took you to even be able to look at those guys like that. When ‘your song’ comes on the radio, turn the station.

When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, do not answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the hell he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it was not him, and realized that once again, he had not called when he said he was going to.

One day you’ll find a guy, who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. a guy who can make you laugh, just by the way he says hello when you pick up the phone. The guy who is not afraid to keep hugging you, when you just not ready to let go. You may think that you’ll never find the guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It’s going to hurt like hell first, and it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

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membaca ini benar2 membuatku menangis. note ini sangatlah menggambarkan keadaanku, sayangnya aku gabisa sekuat tulisan ini.

"God gives us the wrong person, before gives the right one"